New Horizons (8/10)

[dipenates]

Title: New Horizons
Fandom: Brothers and Sisters
Rating:  R
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Length: ~15,000
Characters:  Justin, Kitty, Kevin, Sarah, Nora, and Tommy
Icon: danielle_nahimi
Warning:  Contains references to sexual abuse and rape.
Summary: In which Justin leaves rehab, and the family struggles to deal as something disturbing comes to light.

Chapter eight

In which the lamb is overcooked  

“Kitty? Kitty?”

Kitty realised belatedly that her mother had been calling her name for some time.

“Mom, I’m in here.”

Nora Walker appeared in the doorway to the sitting room in her gardening clothes, carrying a basket of red dahlias from the garden in one hand and a pair of secateurs in the other hand.

Kitty looked up from Newsweek, where she had been trying to determine how an article about Senator McAllister’s sharp tailoring would play in the heartland.

“What’s up, Mom?”

Nora pulled off her gardening hat and blew her bangs out of her eyes. “I was just wondering if you thought that we had enough dahlias here for the centrepiece this evening? The lamb is in the oven, so I just need to get changed and then finish up some of the vegetables.”

“The dahlias look beautiful, Mom. In any case, this is only a little informal family dinner and I don’t want you to go to too much trouble.”

Nora set the trug and gardening things down on the sideboard. “You still haven’t really explained what this dinner is for. Or why you only wanted it to be the six of us. Of course, Julia is probably tired from being pregnant and Joe and Paige like some time alone, so probably no one minds, it's just I wasn't really sure how to explain to Tommy and Sarah what it's all about.”

“Nothing, really. I just thought that the party for your 60th birthday last week didn’t entirely go to plan and that it might be nice to get everyone together for a more relaxed evening.” Kitty bit her lip. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Kitty, is everything OK?” Nora looked concerned.

“Of course, Mom, why do you ask?”

“You’ve just not been quite yourself for the past few weeks. I know that leaving the TV show and joining Senator McAllister’s staff hasn’t been easy, and that things around here have been more than usually interesting recently, but is there anything else wrong?”

Kitty hesitated. “There was something that I was going to talk to everyone around at dinner tonight, but I can tell you now, if you want. I don’t want you to freak out though.”

“Kitty, what is it?” Nora sat down heavily on the sofa.

“I’m serious about the not freaking out part. I’m really OK.”

“Kitty, will you just tell me whatever it is.” Nora scanned Kitty’s face, anxiously.

Kitty took a deep, steadying breath. “When I was in first year of college I came home for Homecoming. I bumped into a few people from high school at some event and had a few beers with them. We were all underage so we ended up in someone’s basement.” She sighed. “The details aren’t really important, but this asshole from the high school raped me.”

Nora gasped, and her hands flew to her mouth. Kitty didn’t look up, her eyes were fixed on her copy of Newsweek. A part of her noticed that the edges of the pages were curling up.

“It’s OK, Mom. It doesn’t sound OK, but it is. I didn’t get pregnant, or STDs. I didn’t end up with an eating disorder or a coke habit. It upset me, but I think I filed it away as a miserable sexual experience until a few weeks ago. Then, for reasons which are way too long and boring to go into, Kevin mentioned the name of the rapist and the whole thing just came back to me. I wouldn’t even have called it ‘rape’ without Kevin insisting.”

“Oh, Kitty.” Nora’s eyes were dry, but her voice was thick with tears.

“I’ve been seeing a therapist for the past few weeks, who is constantly telling me that I’m minimising this, but….” Kitty found herself unable to continue.

From somewhere so deep within her she had never consciously known it was there, Kitty howled like her heart was breaking. Nora moved besides her and wrapped her in her arms, but Kitty was so grief-stricken that even that contact was not enough and she crawled into her mother’s lap like a child. Nora rocked her back and forward; Kitty’s sobs came so intensely that she was gasping for breath for breath. Tears dripped off her chin and on to the purple linen dress she had put on for the family dinner.

“It's OK, Kitty. You’re safe now.” Nora repeated over and over, rubbing Kitty’s back.

---

“Do you know if that guy still lives around here?” Tommy said.

“Brent Wallace?” said Kevin, looking anxiously from the kitchen towards the sitting room. “No, I have no clue. Why?”

“Why do you think?” said Tommy, frowning and picking at the edges of the label on his bottle of beer.

“We can’t hurt him,” Justin said. “Jesus, Tommy!”

“He fucking raped our sister,” said Tommy. “If you don’t think that warrants a bit of a smacking around then you are out of your mind.”

Justin gave Tommy a long, hard look. “I don’t care if he lives or dies. What I do care about is Kitty, and the girls in my group said that if they ever told a boyfriend or guy friend about being raped then the first thing he wanted to do was hand the guy’s ass to him.”

“And what’s wrong with that?” said Tommy.

“What’s wrong with showing Kitty – currently sobbing in Mom’s arms because some guy was violent to her – that her brothers are also violent pricks who solve their problems with their fists?” Justin’s question hung in the air.

Tommy was silent.

“Also,” said Kevin, “and not to channel Sarah, but isn’t that acting like the kinds of neanderthals who think that their sisters are their property, whose honour must be avenged at any cost?” He took a long swig from the beer in his hand.

Tommy slouched against the breakfast bar. “You’re right, you both are. I’m just so fucking angry that I didn’t call Brent Wallace out before he hurt Kitty. I knew he treated girls like shit.”

Kevin put his hand on Tommy’s shoulder. “Firstly, you’ve had five minutes to assimilate the whole ‘Kitty was raped’ thing, and Justin and I have had a couple of weeks. Cut yourself some slack. Secondly, you really can’t blame yourself for what you did or didn’t do as an unenlightened sophomore.”

“Who was an unenlightened sophomore? What is going on tonight?” Sarah said, appearing suddenly through the patio door. “I’ve been ringing the doorbell for five minutes.”

---

Kitty couldn’t work out how long she had been clinging to Nora. She felt exhausted, and yet somehow clean as though all of the tears that had poured down her face had washed away some of the hurt and the pain that she had felt. She pulled away from Nora, and took the tissue her mother was offering and blew her nose.

“Honey, are you OK?” Nora’s voice was concerned.

“I’m so sorry, Mom. I don’t know where that came from. I didn’t even realise I was that upset about it.” Kitty blew her nose again.

“You have nothing to apologise for, sweetheart." Nora glanced towards the kitchen. "Would you like me to get everyone to leave?” she asked, stroking Kitty’s hair back from her face.

“No, Mom. I think that I’ve probably put on enough of a performance this evening without creating yet more drama.” Kitty stood up, and smoothed her dress down. “I’m just going to wash my face and fix my makeup and then I’ll come join everyone.”

She walked upstairs to the bathroom and poured makeup remover onto a cotton-wool ball. She surveyed her face: her eyes were red and swollen, and her skin was pale and blotchy. Kitty couldn’t quite meet her own gaze in the mirror.

(Part nine)