[personal profile] dipenates
Title: Afterburn
Fandom: Veronica Mars
Rating: R
Icon: [livejournal.com profile] sanya4 
Word Count: ~1000
Characters: Logan and Dick.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary:
After Dick hits rock bottom, he goes to the Neptune Grand. To Logan. Episode tag for 3.1: "Welcome Wagon".
Warning: References to canon suicide / child abuse.
Author's note: Contains dialogue written by Rob Thomas.

“I don’t have anywhere else to go.”

Dick was standing on his doorstep, disheveled, snotty and bleeding, and it was the most honest thing that Logan had ever heard him say.

“It’s alright.” He pulled the door wider. “I mean, you can stay here.”

Dick looked away and started to cry, and Logan felt it like a punch in the stomach, because he’d seen Dick be bored and funny and spiteful and horny, but never sad. Never completely fucking bereft.

That night at the Neptune Grand he’d been with Veronica, who had flashed from weeping to resolve while He raped me echoed in Logan’s head like a scream; and then Veronica and Mac, who hunched her shoulders when he looked at her for longer than a second; and then after they’d taken Mac home, Veronica had lain across his knees like Christ taken down from the cross. He’d barely given a thought that night to what Dick would be feeling about his brother splattered across the sidewalk, but he’d thought about nothing else since Dick flipped him off on campus.

And now Dick was standing in the hallway of the Neptune Grand, below the roof that his brother had stepped off as casually as if he was going for ice-cream. Crying like he didn’t believe that anybody’s door would be open for him ever again, and Logan couldn‘t leave him standing there alone.

Logan slid his arm across Dick’s shoulders and rested his hand against Dick’s neck.

“I messed up bad.” Logan could smell the saltwater stink on his clothes and the liquor on his breath. Tequila, and beer, and maybe that was some cheap bourbon in the mix.

“It’s going to be okay.” He patted Dick’s shoulder, and he didn’t think that Dick could look more fucked-up but his face twisted like Logan had killed his pony. Watched his brother die.

Somehow, after Aaron died, Logan could scarcely bear the feeling of another man’s hand on his skin. Had wriggled away from Keith’s shoulder slaps, and Wallace’s high-fives because the strength coiled under their skin made his stomach lurch.

But Dick’s eyes were full of tears and Logan pulled his head down against his shoulder. “Come here.”

He felt Dick’s face hot against his neck, and Dick’s chest lie flat against his own, and Dick‘s hand on his hip. Felt the weight and the heft of Dick and felt, for the first time since Aaron, that he wasn’t afraid.

---

“So, is there any booze left in the mini-bar?” Dick was perched on the edge of the sofa in Logan’s suite.

“I think you’ve had enough, man.”

“There isn’t enough in the whole fucking world.” The bitterness in Dick’s voice made Logan wince.

“Well, that’s very Cat on a Hot Tin Roof of you, but I think that you need a break.”

“And do what?” Dick leaned back against the sofa, and laced his fingers over his stomach. “Like, feel stuff.”

Logan blinked. “I guess.”

Dick nodded, sagely, like Logan was an expert on a talk-show; a sassy PhD with street-smarts.

“So what happens then?” He sounded lost.

“I don’t know.”

Dick turned his head toward him. “All I can think is that some fucking pervert was finger-banging my brother and I didn’t--”

“None of us knew.” Logan’s voice was firm, and he’d spent so many hours thinking about this. Wondering which of the awkward moments he’d spent with Beaver was supposed to tip him off that he was more broken than the rest of Neptune’s sons.

“Yeah, but I was his brother.”

“Yeah.” Logan dropped his head.

“Logan?”

Logan looked up. “What?”

“Did you play Little League?”

Logan shook his head. “Nah, man. I was always all about the surfing. You don’t remember?”

Dick shook his head, hair rustling against the leather of the sofa. “I don’t remember shit.”

“Yeah, well, I never played Little League.” And he felt hysterical laughter bubble in his chest, because it was almost funny. Almost like the worst euphemism ever for something that Logan couldn’t even imagine.

Dick swallowed, convulsively. “E! said your Dad--”

Logan tried to smile. “Dick, we don’t have to walk all the way down Memory Lane tonight, do we? Can‘t we stop at Lookout Point and neck for a while?”

Dick ignored him. “And you never thought to clue your compadres in?”

In the silence, Logan could hear the squeaky wheel of the room-service cart heading down the corridor.

“So you could do what?” His voice was flat. “Rustle up a posse?”

“I could have--” Dick trailed off.

“What, Dick? What could you have done? What would you have done?” Logan stood up. “He was fucking crazy. He killed Lily. He set Veronica on fire.”

“Did he--?” Dick choked on the words.

“Did he what?”

Dick looked at him, face swollen. “Like Woody.”

Logan shook his head. “No.” He liked his meat a little darker, and wearing a pink bow, he thought, the image of Lily and Aaron in bed flickering behind his eyelids. But he couldn’t say that when Dick looked like his brain was melting inside his skull.

Dick nodded.

Logan sat down. “Woody busted out his Humbert Humbert act with other kids. Their parents didn’t know. Their brothers didn’t know.”

“It was the Beav, man.“ Dick’s voice cracked, and he tipped his head back, staring at the ceiling. “Can I have a vodka rocks?”

Logan licked his lips. “Sure.”

He poured a generous three fingers of Grey Goose into a glass, and the sound of the ice clinking against the side reminded him, for a second, of Lynn.

Date: 2010-02-20 05:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] podga.livejournal.com
I don't know 'Veronica Mars' so I'm no doubt missing a ton of references here, but I still love this.

You're going to force me into watching a new series, aren't you? Although they never seem to be quite as interesting as your fics.

Date: 2010-02-20 05:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dipenates.livejournal.com
You are the best fanbuddy in the world, ever. If I could make you some kind of medal, I would.

Thank you for the lovely review, although it's pretty much all reaction to about 43143214321 different overwrought plotlines, so I'm amazed it made any kind of sense at all.

Veronica Mars is my favourite teen noir show, ever, but it is sometimes a little bit too arch for its own good.

Date: 2010-02-20 10:58 pm (UTC)
ext_88122: (Default)
From: [identity profile] hyperemmalawlz.livejournal.com
YES YOU WROTE VM FIC.

Anyway; to put on my Srs Reviewer glasses, I really enjoyed this. I'm really not sure what to say about it, but I love the way you wrote them. And ending with the Dick/Lynn parallel was just... wow.

Well done. :D

Date: 2010-02-21 02:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dipenates.livejournal.com
Yes, I did!

I'm supposed to be doing about ten other things at the moment, but I was doing a bit of a re-watch of the start of season 3, and thought that we should have seen a bit more Dick & Logan at the end of "Welcome Wagon".

Thanks for the nice comment. (And the lovely icons, which I have snagged many of.)

Date: 2010-02-21 09:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zaftig-darling.livejournal.com
This is lovely, and painful, and raw and fabulous.

I love the reference to Lynn at the end.

Date: 2010-02-21 09:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dipenates.livejournal.com
Why, thank you very much! This is high praise, coming from you. :)

Date: 2010-02-23 06:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kevsam.livejournal.com
This was...wow. I mean, I felt for Dick throughout most of Season3 even when he was being...well, a dick. As someone who knows personally, after your little brother dies you can't hide from it, no matter how dumb, blonde and drunk you are. And this, this shows his pain, the pain that Rob Thomas didn't let us actually acknowledge until the end. And the guilt, of not knowing or being there for Cassidy and even for not seeing what was really going on between Aaron and Logan, we know that Duncan knew about the abuse but we never knew if any other friends of Logans knew. Wonderful story.

Date: 2010-02-23 01:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] a-h-c.livejournal.com
This was really quite good. I also thought that it would have been interesting to see a bit more of the interaction between Logan and Dick in season 3. It was weird to feel bad for Dick, but I think the show did a good job of creating that in a realistic way, and your fic continues that. Nice job.

Date: 2010-02-23 02:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] medjunkie.livejournal.com
I like this, I too was a bit frustrated that the scene in the show just cut off like that, as the fact that Logan was there when Dick's brother killed himself is a pretty big elephant in the room and one the show dealt with to some extent later in the Season.
It can be so frustrating as a viewer sometimes when you are left wondering what happened next, so it was good to see your take on the conversatiion

Date: 2010-02-23 02:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] medjunkie.livejournal.com
Hope you don't mind I've added you as a friend, because I am always looking for great fic to read.

Date: 2010-02-23 04:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sanya4.livejournal.com
I really liked this "extended scene", and wish we could have seen something like that on the show. I hope you write more VM fics. :)

Date: 2010-02-23 05:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] celtic-flicka.livejournal.com
Really well-written and thoughtful. Dick obviously had an enormous amount of guilt about Cassidy, and the show only mentioned it a few times and spent most of the time making Dick the silly sidekick. You did a great job of exploring what the show did not, and should have.

Date: 2010-02-23 05:55 pm (UTC)
jesterlady: (vmweevil)
From: [personal profile] jesterlady
Oh, the angst and the broken. It's so sad, but very true to the show. Very well done.

Date: 2010-02-23 08:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dipenates.livejournal.com
I'm so sorry for your loss.

And I'm very glad that this said something to you. Thanks so much for your comment.

Date: 2010-02-23 08:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dipenates.livejournal.com
Thanks very much for the comment. I thought that the show fell down a little bit in terms of how much people discussed the aftermath of the many, many terrible things that happened. Fortunately, this provides many, many opportunities to write fic.

Date: 2010-02-23 08:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dipenates.livejournal.com
Thanks very much for the lovely comment. I love that scene in 3.1, but I'm a bit of a sucker for boys taking care of each other in general.

Date: 2010-02-23 08:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dipenates.livejournal.com
Not in the least. Thanks. :)

Date: 2010-02-23 08:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dipenates.livejournal.com
Thanks, and thanks for the great icon to go with it!

Date: 2010-02-23 08:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dipenates.livejournal.com
Thanks very much for the lovely comment. I think the show's concentration on Dick-as-jester didn't really give his character room to grow. It also made him seem unbelievably callous in light of Cassidy's death, which I don't think he really was.

Date: 2010-02-23 08:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dipenates.livejournal.com
Thank you so much.

Date: 2010-02-24 02:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] montisello.livejournal.com
Oh, this. Not only do you give us Dick dealing with Cassidy, but you give us Logan dealing with Aaron. The level of angst got turned up to 11 on this. Such a great job!

Date: 2010-02-24 08:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dipenates.livejournal.com
Thank you so much. I am a firm believer in the angst dial being turned up to 11. *g*

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